yet here I am…
I hate this.
It’s like we are on the roller coaster of grief. I hate how the past 4 hours I have been SO grouchy.
I hate how it’s disrupted our lives.
I hate how someone else can sleep at night because they have a beautiful home to go to this week. A person who could have any house they want but they decided they needed mine because they are uncomfortable in their home. And without so much as batting an eye.
I hate how it’s no big deal to them.
I hate how people put them up on a pedestal.
I hate how some others look at us. I know…I shouldn’t.
It pains me how it affects my kids.
Yet, I come back to the blog post I did a couple weeks ago http://thecoffeelogues.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=146&action=edit because I am struggling…so I look back because it’s hard to look forward. I pray over everyone of the rooms as I empty them. I pray over the house that it will bring blessings to the people who take over. As I have to remind myself of my words a couple weeks ago:
So, as I pack up each room I will pray over it. I will start by giving thanks for blessing us and serving us. I will pray over the rooms that new little boys will live in; that they might bring them joy and room to play and get rest. Next, I will pray over my master bedroom that the Lord will bless the marriage coming into this room and bless the hands and feet that shower away a hard days’ work. Finally, I will pray over the kitchen where their meals will be prepared, asking the Lord to bless their food to their bodies and give them time as a family to gather.
As I head outside, I will pray over the amazing backyard while we take down the girls’ swing set. Praying that the little boys would be blessed with adventures and that the parents would enjoy this amazing view and never take it for granted. I will pray over the living room where they gather as a family and watch their boys grow up into young men, where their friends will play and watch movies and hang out.
With blurry eyes, I have to let go of the plan. Version 2 is coming and it could be even better than the first. <3
And with that, I have to move forward.